Grief Introduction

Hello, it's Kelly again. This is a grief ritual introduction to the document that we also have for you for the grief ritual practice. If you choose, feel compelled to do it. So I wanted to introduce it a little bit in this video. And then when you get to the document, you can follow it. You can ⁓ make any changes that you need to to make it more personal for you. And I thought I'd do this in front of my ritual space in my home. So in the astrology document, we wrote about the Uranus opposition transit and the so-called midlife crisis. And the Astrologer Chani Nicholas, if you haven't heard about her, I'd highly recommend checking her out if you like astrology. And she reframes the crisis as rather, and I quote, a radical midlife departure from all the ways you've compromised your individuality. for the sake of people, institutions, and forces that aren't feeding you back. and I really appreciated that reframe. ⁓ I can definitely relate to that. And what I think might come up for not just myself, but for others is grief in leaving behind youth and our dreams for the future and what we wanted that maybe never came true. And also grief around ways we've compromised our individuality for the sake of people, institutions, and forces that haven't fed us back. And I think there's a lot of grief around, at least there is for me, maybe there is for you, but around our changing bodies. And there's grief because we've been told lies about this stage of life. We've been told that it's incredibly negative, ⁓ which it is. In some ways, it can be really difficult going through perimenopause. But we're also going through an incredible transformation in our hormonal system during perimenopause where more energy is moving potentially away from creating life and fertility or nurturing others to moving back to be more self-oriented. And the message coming through in from the health and wellness industry, media and other sources. is that we want to hold on to our youth and we want to try to stay looking like we were when we were 25. Like what? Of course, our bodies are changing and why would we want them to not change? It's a privilege in so many ways to age. Lots of people don't get to do that. So anyway, I've been contemplating that and I've been listening to hours of ⁓ audio books from Dr. Clarissa Pinkola Estés who wrote Women Who Run With The Wolves. And I've been getting tattoos of ⁓ Crone, the wise woman. This is the tattoo artist is Bubzee in case you're interested. And same as the shirt, this is a Bubzee shirt. And I've been pondering how I have heard that our energy in our 40s and our 50s may shift from sexual creativity and fertility into a creativity that's about the heart and the voice and the spirit. My traditional Chinese medicine doctor told me that in menopause, from a Chinese medicine perspective, there is more potential for qi to rise toward the heart, to rise up to the heart. And Chinese medicine speaks about the second spring. So I won't get into this because I'm not a Chinese medicine doctor. But if you're interested, I would recommend looking up information about the second spring. So I am feeling, maybe you agree or disagree, and that's totally OK if you disagree ⁓ or you don't feel the same. We're all going through a different experience. But I am feeling, and I wanted to share with you, that perhaps grief is a part of this journey and an important part of this journey to acknowledge. Because any time you're walking through a portal like we are, a liminal space, going through one stage of life to another, there's something to let go of or to move toward what is new. So we're letting go of something old and we're moving towards something new. We're letting go of youth and we're moving toward old age. And there's a space in between this liminal space that I feel is important to acknowledge and witness. And unfortunately, in my culture, unlike birth or death or marriage, there's nothing that I found to... ⁓ to support me in community and ceremony. So that's one of the reasons why we're doing this, to offer something to our community and to you. So no matter what's happening in your body with your hormones, maybe you're trans, maybe you are on hormonal treatments, but being in midlife, we are in between youth and old age. And I also want to acknowledge for anyone, and I know I have some dear ones, dear friends going through illness, disease, or chronic pain, that this will, of course, strongly affect our experience, strongly affect the experience of perimenopause. And that in itself brings up a lot of grief. So there's a lot to grieve that isn't ours alone to hold. We have a document describing rituals, what is ritual. And then we think of the embodiment and the practices that we are offering as rituals. And grieving can also be an important ritual as well as rage rituals. And I'm sure some of you know this and maybe you practice this already. So I have created a ritual with some suggestions. You can take what you want and create your own ritual if you feel compelled to do so. My experience with rituals I guess has been over 20 years now. It has mostly been from Druid and Wicca traditions, so Celtic calendar celebrations and traditions. I'll offer some suggestions, but please follow your own traditions and your own intuition and feel free to make your own grief ceremony entirely. And I wanted to close by just saying that I feel it's important to make your ritual space, that it be a clean space and a private space. You can do it outside if you'd like, but make it a private space. And in some way, create an intention that it's a safe space. So I have an opening and a closing section of the ritual practice, and that in itself kind of creates a container. You might do this already, but when I do any kind of ritual practice, ⁓ anything that feels like a sacred ceremony for me, I call in my ancestors and guides because I have a connection to them and a history of doing work with my ancestors and guides. If you do, you could call in your ancestors and guides as part of the intention to create a safe place, a safe space for you. And if that doesn't resonate with you, if you don't connect in that way, then maybe it's something else that creates safety. And just that you're not allowing anything to come into the space. know, when we do this kind of thing, and if you're an empath like I am, I can open up to a lot of different energies. So I want to create an intention that there's a boundary around me. And I recommend that you do that as well, especially if you're somebody that's more sensitive. And that there's an opening and a closing, so when you close, you can let it go. And reach out to us. Let us know if you have any questions or want any extra support. Thank you.